with 
in The Tanakas Strike Back Saga

Part 1: Return of the Tanakas

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Los Angeles State Prision... Post-Commonwealth vs. the Tanakas 2 Trial...

Chan: Melcom ersgime oot anudder X-Fours ep stirringe moe brudder Cishan and I Hsu...

(Translation: Welcome gamers to another X-Force ep starring my brother Chan and I Hsu...)

Monkey: EEK EEK EEK!

(Translation: Help me! Help me! He's about to make me his bitch!)

Chan: Brother Hsu put that monkey down this instant!

(Prision guard walks up)

Chan: Murray? What's up in the outside world?

Murray: For one, you two have been released!

Hsu: Vu snall vern ern de decks of smell!

Murray: What he say?

Chan: You wouldn't want to know... Hsu... Vive von crelassed!

Hsu: Well if I'm not a plumber's cousin... We're free!

And so...

Hsu: Hiroko? Deke? You helped release us?

Hiroko: No, but Gila Mobster did... Besides Deke and I thought we'd visit before we take Hanabi to Disneyland.

Hsu: Gila Mobster?

Gila Mobster: Well it's the least I could do for you guys, considering you created me in all...

Chan: How did you do that?

Gila Mobster: It's amazing how Bushie Boy will bend to your will with a few revealing photos...

Deke: What were you guys thinking? Blowing up half a stadium for revenge? Geez if you more like me you would've creamed them like corn.

Hiroko: Oh Deke, don't get worked up right before we take the baby to the happiest place on Earth, well brothers see you next Thanksgiving...

Deke: Yeah and stay out of trouble you two...

In the parking lot after Hiroko and Deke leave...

Hsu: Well brother we have our freedom what will we do now?

Chan: Maybe we should head back home and resume development of Roller Death Derby 6...

Hsu: It waited nine months I wager it can wait some more...

Chan: What are you talking about Hsu?

Hsu: Remember who put us here in the first place?

Chan: A judge?

Hsu: No the X-Force! We still have to regain our honor!

Chan: You mean have our revenge...

Hsu: Same difference.

Chan: Well I'm game but we have no battle plan...

Hsu: While in my lapse of sanity... I saw the perfect plan to finally put the X-Force in their place... only we don't have the resources...

Gila Mobster: Ah so you need resources? Tell me your plan and I'll use my contacts to get what I... you need... yes...

Hsu: Okay you little toad, what will it cost us?

Gila Mobster: Oh nothing... just a percentage of the sales from your next game and a pound of both your flesh.

Chan: Look at us we're just skin and bones!

Gila Mobster: How about your sister's hubby? This is LA baby, no one will know you had anything to do with it...

Hsu and Chan: (Think for a moment)

Hsu: Yeah okay... why not?

Gila Mobster: You made the right choice... (Laughs evily)

(Hsu and Chan join in the mad cackling)

And so a few days later in Megaopolis...

Hsu: Well the plan here is to get into Maverick Hunter Headquarters take the five remaining curcuit stones and get out in one piece... Got it Chan?

Chan: Understood, they won't even know I was there until we're back at Tanaka Bros. "Video Game Deathmatch"

Hsu: A clever ruse which at this point we can't reveal... well godspeed brother Chan.

Chan: Luck? That's for wusses...

Hsu: Chan? Report?

Chan: The roof was I bit further down than I thought but I should be able to sneak in throught the window...

Chan: Uh chan I've been spotted... (Pulls out tranquilizer gun)

Employee: Uh sir?

Chan: Hey this doesn't look like Maverick Hunter HQ...

Employee: Um no... this is the McDonalds next door... besides the tours are over already...

Chan: Curses Hsu! We made a fatal error...

Hsu: On to plan "Delta-Moses-Tau-Omega"

And so...

Guy: Hey look... what's that...

(Car screeches to a halt)

Hsu: If we can't go in by stealth ...

Chan: Then go by force!

Chan: Raze every room until we get the circuit stones!

The white-collar reploid assembly line...

Alia: What are those dolts think they're doing?

Douglass: Who cares? We have to get them out of here before X and Signas come back... let's just give them what they what before they destroy the place...

So...

Alia: Are you idiot's finished yet?

Hsu and Chan: Huh?

Hsu: Yeah, where do you keep the circuit stones?

Alia: If I give you the (explicite deleted) circuit stones, will you get the hell out of here?

Chan: Well my fine... erm... lady of course we will...

(Alia leaves for a moment)

Hsu: Take a look at her... hubba! hubba!

Chan: Brother don't waste your harmones on a reploid, would you consider the famicom a hot "catch"?

Hsu: Since when did the...

(Alia comes back with the circuit stones)

Alia: Here now get the hell out!

Hsu: Your wish is my demand... (drools)

Chan: Oh brother...

MD's Dojo... Mechanopolis

Ben: It's amazing how I wrote this freaking ep and I don't appear until now...

(Phone rings)

Ben: Oh... (Censored) (Picks it up) Hello MD's dojo, call one more time and I'll kick your sorry ass...

Gila Mobster: Hi, My associates and I extend an invitation for you and the X-Force to participate in the Video Game Deathmatch.

Ben: What make you think I don't have anything better to do? (Is watching reruns of "Full House")

Gila Mobster: Well for one the prize is twenty-five million dollars in cold-hard cash and the circuit stones...

Ben: Oh big whoop!

Gila Mobster: And free-Chinese Food-for-life from the Regent...

Ben: Hell yeah!

And so... In the Stadium all is in a disturbing calm...

Rob: Ben! Why did you drag me out of Grand Theft Auto 3 for this?

Ben: Shut up pretty boy or I'll f*** your face up so bad...

Andrew: Personally I think this is an excellent chance to collect the remaining circuit stones so we can final use the power heh heh heh... isn't this what it's about?

X-Force: Nope

Alon: We're in it for the cash.

Tobias: Yeah Tobias needs his new entertainment center...

Ben: I'm in it for the free Chinese Food well that and the kindergarten class they said I could consume...

Classi: Oh I don't care, as long as my Icey-kins fights by my side...

Gary: (Wrapped up in Classi's electric webs) Help me! This ZAP! hurts! ZAP!

Classi: Oh love doesn't hurt my Icey-kins...

Trevor: Do you hear that?

X-Force: ?

Trevor: It sounds like...

(A car crashes in, the X-Force scatters and the car crashes into Alon)

Alon: OW! What the hell?!?

(Guy from GTA3* gets out before it explodes into flames)

(From this point  refer to him as "G")

G: #^*%in' idiots look at what you did to my new Diablo!

Rob: What we did? You were the one that drove into here like a $&%*ing maniac you cheap son of a pennywhore!

G: Wha now you dissin my mama ya poof? I'll @&$*ing slice your neck!

Rob: (Whispers) Poof?

Andrew: British slang for homo sexual...

Rob: That's it I'll...

Ben: (Taps G on the shoulder)

G: Wha now you overgrown iguana?

Ben: (Gives G his light jab.. shoving his skull right into his brain)

(G falls to the ground on his back)

Ben: Ha, frickin' humans. All talk, no walk.

Trevor: Hey is that his nose?

Tobias: No Tobias thinks it's a fragment of his jaw...

(The stadium starts to light up and a big musical score starts)

(Announcer steps out)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen this is the first ever... VIDEO GAME DEATHMATCH! Presented by the... TANAKA BROTHERS...

Trevor: Hey I thought they were doing twenty to life...

Andrew: Apparently, they had to be pardoned.

Classi: Oh Icey-kins you know those bad... bad... men?

Gary: HELP ME!

Ben: For gods sake Classi! LET GARY GO!

Classi: Can we be partners in battle?

Ben: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!

Classi: (Unwraps Gary) I guess we'll be partners...

Gary: Okay, just don't snatch me like that...

Hsu: My brother an I would like to thank our sponsors and the various contestants that could be here today... especially the X-Force who had fallen into our trap...

X-Force: WHAT?!?

Chan: You simpletons! You thought we made up this championship for kicks? HA! You tell them our nefarious plan brother Hsu...

Hsu: This was all a sham to get even with you X-Force, since we couldn't beat you ourselves, we'll let characters from other video games series do that! The Tanakas must have their honor restored!

Ben: You think they'll beat us? Ha! We can mop the floor with whatever you can throw at us...

Hsu: Really? We have the toughest opponents you'll ever meet! (Door opens) in this corner we have...

The Super Smash Brothers!

(The Nintendo Characters rush out)

Mario: Ha these pisanoes don't look so tough!

Chan: Also the very tough very rough Marines from... HALO!

Master Chief: Stay focused men, and we can overcome these metal rejects...

Hsu: Your man of action... Solid Snake and Raiden!

Raiden: Ha, my VR training will make short work out all of them...

Snake: (Groans)

Chan: Also your favorite gang from Final Fantasy X!

Tidus: YEAH! MY TEAM ROCKS! BLITZ BALL FOREVER!

Wakka: YEAH! WOOHOO!

Chan: You guys are drunk are you?

Tidus: Yeah a little...

Wakka: Dude you like had the whole keg...

Tidus: Yeah, I'm the greatest. YEAH!

Chan: Um... yeah... we had contenders from Sonic, Street Fighter and Dead or Alive 3 but they delined.

Hsu: The rules are simple you must knock out or execute your opponent in a quick fashion. Once you finish them all off, you get the prize... You will all be transported to the many alternate arenas across the multiverse.

Rob: (To Ben): Holy shit!, he can't be serious...

Ben: Really, you think these a**holes stand a chance?

Rob: What are we going to do?

Ben: Everyone, pick a body and don't stop til their pulses are gone...